OK for those of you that worry about me, don't. I have God and a great family! Life is hard when you lose a child but it does not stop. Work, school, and life continues whether you want it to or not. At some point you have to pick up the pieces and go on. Things hit me at strange times, but over all I am OK. At times I can feel Cryssy saying "Mom I Love you!" Other times I talk to birds and animals ( OK maybe not normal on second thought maybe you should worry) ;)~ but seriously I am OK.
Here is what I have learned from all this; life is truly short seize the moment, not the day to many moments in a day SEIZE THE MOMENT! Feel what you feel and know that it is OK. Live for happiness. Don't dwell on the bad. I have and it is ugly! Just ask Rick he can tell you. I have had and will continue to have my break downs, and I am OK knowing this. Dates like Cryssy's B-day that was hard.I went the whole day knowing I would have a hard time. At the end of the day I did. The end of every month I get weird, as long as Rick knows why he can handle me. Rick is truly a God send for me. He loves me, knows that I am sometimes strange, happy, sad, loving, soft and caring all in the same day. He knew this before but failed to really understand it. I know he understands it now. OK maybe just maybe Cryssy got it from me.
In all of life during the past 8 1/2 months since she passed. Wow 8 1/2 months seems like last week. But yes it has been that long since her funeral. We have continued to live and have entertained many times in our home since that date. Happenings since July 29Th; Jenny had her B-day Aug 3 the day before Cryssy's funeral, not one she will forget, George passed on Sept 11, my sister's husband. Andrew played football for the first time! He did OK for a first timer. It was good for me to get out yell for the team. Get out of myself and see the big picture. Andrew, Jackie and Cindy had B-days in Nov, Rick went on unemployment and I went back to work for a temp agency, not doing that so much after several calls with your job is over. Thanksgiving we had family here as usual. Dec. we saw the end of football, I finished Kingwood College, and Christmas as normal people do and it was good. Jan. came and went, Feb. was my B-day, I planted seeds for the garden watched them grow and took care of them like kids, March Cryssy's B-day,and now we are in April, Easter was great family and grand kids here for eggs and food! We have had many friends and family over and parties for their B-days. Life does go on and there is no stopping it. So embrace it and find your happiness
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Temp Bridge
This is the temporary bridge that Rick made. The raft is one that Andrew and I take to look around the pond. Andrew and Kiwi our dog have made trips without me :(~ Oh well Andrew is 12 and is allowed fun on his own.
Beaver Dam
This picture is of the Beaver dam in the back of the pond. We had a couple of beavers move in and make the dam cut a few trees down I even found the hole where they dug under the Island to make a home. We have not seen any sign of them lately so I wonder if they are still there. But they left their mark on the island and pond. I also found Duck eggs on the island, these things have been left there as they are natural and that is what should be.
Things Cryssy loved were her bunny, her Siamese cats, Lucy and Sadie who both died here while she was in New Orleans cleaning up after Katrina. Yes I am bad as they died while I had them. Well anyway, she loved; animals, graffiti art, her ladder that she brought home when she came to Texas for awhile, boys she loved her boys all of them! her friends, family, music, natural things like flowers and vitamins, poetry, journals she has more then 20 journals that she kept during her short lifetime. One day I might read them, just not yet. She loved expensive things like vintage clothes and some crazy clothes like her Chucks that were worn out and still wore them with holes and rips. Which she could not wash because she knew they would not stay together. She loved cheap clothes from Goodwill and resale shops. She loved to dress up even though she did not match in our eyes she felt pretty in what she wore even if everyone else looked at her and thought WOW. She wore what she liked and it did not matter what others thought.
First Bridge
Front of Pond with the first bridge. Rick has made a temporary bridge and we are working on a permanent one. My brother David and Rick are working on making what is in my head. Ha ha ha. This is fun, see what is in my head now make it. Well anyway hopefully I can find the words to describe what I visualize.
Personalize It!
I will be sending this page to everyone I know and want you all to know that you are welcome to have your input on the Island. If you have or find something you want to add to the Island you are free to send it or come and add it to what others have done. Cryssy was very unique and I want the Island to show her personality. She was playful, funny, sophisticated and elegant yet strange at times. This is what I see on the Island. I have told my children that could have sections that they chose to do what they want in memory of Cryssy and this invitation extends to everyone. If you see a wind chime, statue, fountain or anything else that reminds you of her Please fell free to add it. Some things I have bought so far; a rabbit statue, in memory of her rabbits she had, a plague that says in "Dedicated in Loving Memory of Crystal Hope Lilley",and a small statue that says "HOPE" with a star cut out of it. These seem to be easy to find and say what I need is Hope. I named her after my mother Maxine Hope Lilley, I am glad I did. I will be adding pictures of the Island from time to time so everyone can see what is being done and how it is coming along.
Cryssy Pond
Cryssy Pond Well I cut down the Yopons and now I need to burn them off. And start putting flowers out there. I have a vision for the Island as it will be a garden for Cryssy. I want wind chimes, benches and climbing vines. I am going to put my hammock chair out there. I think we need a ladder maybe put vines on it. I wish I had an Army of people to help me do it quickly, I know this will be a labor of love and patience. It will not get finished overnight. But I can see what it looks like. Cryssy was unique and this garden will be also. I want laminated Pictures of her out there so I can see it when I go sit out there. Pictures of her when she was little and then the ones I like to most showing just how beautiful she was.
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